Only in America…

You dummies are gonna pay my mortgage for me!
Pony up, you skinflints. I took $200K out of my house equity and pissed it away on a big honkin’ Hummer and 3 TV’s so big you gotta sit across the street to watch ’em, and a big Goddamn gold watch and a speedboat and a whole buncha primo dope.

Now I’m underwater and the value of the house is goin’ down faster than a cheap whore, and the government’s gonna cut the $200K I pissed away off the balance, and give me a new FHA guaranteed loan at better interest rates than any of you get on your mortgages, and your taxes are gonna pay for it all. What a great country! It’s morning in America!